11 THINGS PEOPLE JUDGE YOU FOR

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is the dumbest thing you were ever taught.

By: Day

SNAP SNAP SNAPPITY SNAPPITY SNAP.

Out of the corner of my ear I hear snapping.

Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry Be Happy” must be coming over the loudspeakers.

NOOOOO. A bald headed golem grouch looking fat slob is snapping his fingers at the waitress. Like she is a dog and his martini is the tennis ball.

I think about making him fist both forks in his chubby pink hands and slamming his head through the table.

At least I could take the lemons out of our gooses and squeeze the fuckers into his eyes.

Better yet I shit on his plate and make him scoop it into a to go bag so he can take it home for leftovers.

I shrug and relax. Maybe he gives half his salary to orphans. Fuck it.

Earls, Waikiki. Goose and soda for my girl and I, lemon in mine, the taste of mezcal and orange juice still in my mouth from the ride over mixed with the lipstick I sampled off Daisy in the back of the Uber

I slip the waitress a twenty for working so hard as she slides over our drinks.

She smiles with her eyes.

A few sips and my mind wakes up. I notice everything.

The guy on the date with his deskism posture. The girl across from him with her Instagram eyes, snapping photos of her meal while he yaps into the back of her phone. Soft.

The tatted local at the bar with the spam fed rice eating face, his pitbull sniffing the ass on the next stool. I suppose I am doing the same.

A busty woman of about forty five storms out of the kitchen doing her manager walk, cussing out the beautiful young hostesses seating incoming guests. Suit vest. Heels. Fucked over one too many times.

Out the window on Kalākaua, a legless man in a wheelchair asks everyone walking past for money. I fold a twenty into a paper airplane and send it his way.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING DAY?”

“Sending care packages!”

People get fucked over left and right. Tricked and flicked. Socked and knocked. Meanwhile character is seeping out of every human every moment of the Day and your brain throws it in the trash.

Life rarely shows us people in immense acts of bravery or treachery. Judas acts. Brutus acts. Loyal acts. Brave or cowardly. We get the big ones once a decade if we are lucky. So we humans judge the minuscule acts to find the character.

Yes we judge. Sheep swear they are above judging while it runs hardwired through their brains, extracting who a person is from the information leaking out of a hundred benign behaviors an hour.

You build your reputation in the moments you believe are too small to matter.

I remember a teacher in elementary school telling our class, “When you eat breakfast in the morning it would be silly to pick a cereal that has a pretty box but has a cereal inside that you do not like. You do not want to pick your friends like how you pick cereal, based on the pretty outside.”

It is one of those things that sounds good and true and is completely batshit sheep fuck wrong.

Any intelligent social wolf can manipulate what he says and how he acts in under an hour. A face is less malleable.

Prima Facie. First impressions are the truest. We find out after much heartbreak that we were right at first glance.

WARNING

Do not read ahead if you are easily offended or happy in your ignorance. Eat the frog now or eat betrayal later.

If you dare, wake up and see anew.

“By their fruits ye shall know them.” Matthew 7:16.

11 THINGS PEOPLE JUDGE YOU FOR

1. WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE

The book of a stranger stays closed, so we read the cover.

God installed detection abilities in all of us to ensure our survival.

Get good at them.

Looking younger or older than your age is a soul thing. A person who looks younger than their years has been thinking pleasant thoughts. Nasty thoughts twist and mangle a face into exactly what it deserves. Those frown lines are from years of negative thoughts. The crows feet a sign of a happy person. People love to say everyone is wearing a mask.

The face is the confession.

Why do babies frown at ugly people? Why is it such a big deal when the rare attractive mugshot finally comes out?

Still on the face, people are judging Where Your Eyes Go. The eyes reveal what is important to you or your lack of strength. The most anti charismatic thing you can do: Someone begins telling a story and you dart your eyes everywhere except into theirs. Disgusting. People will hate you for it.

> What is more important than the present moment.

This extends to Your Body. Do you exist with a folded in close collarbone posture. Your thoughts are collapsing you inward to make you smaller and hide yourself. Your body tells a story too. The fatass betrays himself everyday with a fork. Trust dies there. The slender man with intelligent eyes and sizeable head takes more pride in the brute force of his mind than his body. The gym rat the opposite. Everything comes with a cost. This reveals them. Whether you are in shape. How tan you are. Yellow teeth. Do you look dangerous. Are you facing off with me directly or blading away. A man keen in violence knows to blade away, staying unthreatening when peace is on the table, and because it is a more combat ready position. Cops know this, watch any good one when they speak to anyone. People will judge Hair. Tattoos. Your hands. Your body tells on you. Look at deskism guy on my right, folded over his plate like the laptop is still in front of him

2. ANY CHOICE YOU MAKE IN FREE WILL

Every choice is an act of expression.

People are screaming who they are all the time and most people live with the mute button clicked.

Deaf and dumb. Turn the sound system back on and you will see the world anew. What you wear is the most obvious. People judge you by what you wear. They have done countless studies on if it makes a difference and every single time YES IT MAKES A FUCKING DIFFERENCE. This includes what car you drive. Yes that fucking Fiat or Prius or even a cubed car… you chose that. Of everything available, you picked that. Bad taste. This extends into what clothes you pick to wear, hairstyles, hobbies, iPhone or Android. Even down to the fucking water bottle you carry around.

3. HOW YOU INTERACT WITH OTHER HUMANS

The snapping man is a stranger to me and I plan on keeping it that way, but I do know he misunderstands the game of life entirely. He has a blind area that will plague him into eternity if he keeps interacting with humans like this. Zero class. I look over and hear how loud he is talking to his table. The two kids sitting there playing on their phones and his wife who continues to glance our way, like she wants a way out. I wink at her.

People will judge you by how you speak, what social cues you follow, and how you treat people above and below you. People judge your vocabulary for three reasons. Your intelligence. Your tribe. Your class. You have done this unconsciously your entire life, pay attention next time you meet someone new and you will catch yourself doing all three

4. HOW ANIMALS AND CHILDREN REACT TO YOU

And how you treat them. People use this to judge you because animals and children have zero filter and a sixth sense adults went numb to long ago. I seem to only have an issue with male dogs… I suppose they smell something on me. Most kids just think I am a superhero.

5. WHETHER YOU RETURN THE SHOPPING CART

And any tiny inconvenience taken on for the group when zero eyes are watching. Humans have done this judgement from the time we lived in small tribes. The shopping cart person should have been weeded out of the gene pool but survived against all odds. I guess nature likes keeping a few sociopaths around. This is the base level test: are you a good person. The lazy fatass self obsessed antisocial personality types leave their carts drifting across the parking lot like abandoned children.

This was the first five.

There are six to go and they get increasingly more shocking.

FULL ESSAY ON SVBSTACK// DAYDAYDAY