HOW TO BECOME INTERESTING AGAIN

5 ways to become interesting again

By: Day

I see a thousand dead people.

The eyes go first.

I sling my arm out the window and try to make eye contact with all those inching along the H1.

DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. ALIVE! A toddler in the back seat waving at me. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. ALIVE! SOMEONE FLICKS ME OFF AS I SWERVE IN FRONT OF THEM, JEEP TEMPTING TO KEEL OVER. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. FUCKING DEAD.

An urge to hop out with my tire iron and tap windows washes over me.

By 25 the masses’ eyes are fucking dead. Whatever the latest trend, whatever the new saying, it colonized their brains. The devil topped the lid off their head and is spooning out their mushy brain soup and having a splendid dinner.

So when a person who is interesting shows up, well.

Fuck being humble.

When I swing through the door swaying in, shouldering back and forth with my walk, looking wild, my hair flaying every which way, brightest hair they’ve seen, they look into my green eyes and they see the aliveness, the intensity, my black eyebrows furrowing over them

The dead ones beg me to toss on my blacked out Wayfarers.

They sense something. My spark still lit. The fire burning.

Being around me they feel drunk at ease.

This is what women like, by the way.

Your stress and pressure are the last things women want to feel.

They just want to feel alive around you.

Before I had the writing money I had fucking chicks up the wazoo. Because I was alive.

Let’s just call it as it is. The 99% are sheep.

That is why Viagra sales are through the roof. Why people are numb. Why the fucking stopped. Why the relationships stopped. Why they sit at jobs they hate. Only an alive person makes an alive choice. They forgot who they are.

The mega corporations selling you shit want you sedated just enough to keep watching their stupid fucking advertisements, keeping you in slave labor.

I’m sick of meeting people who ask me, What do you do for work? As if that defines a human being.

It happened yesterday at THE DECK. I smirked.

“I EAT SHEEP.”

He laughed the laugh of “I’m unsure if he is joking”. I AM NOT. I WANT TO HOP UP ON THE DINNER TABLE AND PULL A SWORD FROM MY SHEATH. SHOUT OUT HIS LINKEDIN ASS RESUME, DEEMING HIM FOR DEATH. THE CROWD APPLAUDS. HE CRIES INTO HIS IPA.

But I let him live, and he chooses a new life henceforth.

I’m sick of people who expect you flushed down the same pipeline as them. We watch movies and read books about people who follow their dreams and become superstars and rock stars. They sell us that dream. Then the moment you actually do it, everyone hates on you, or doubts you, or tells you to go be a lawyer. Go to school. Go be a teacher. Go be a cop. Go be a fucking job so I can put you in a box below me.

Fuck that.

So free sheep, this is where I lose you.

Wolves, into the woods.

WARNING

Quit fucking reading right now if you are happy with a comfortable, safe, neat, people pleasing, Mr. Nice Guy life. This is for the few.

RULE ONE: BECOME UNPREDICTABLE AGAIN

You know who the most predictable people in the world are?

THE DEAD ONES. They stay in the ground… UNMOVING.

Most people are boring because they are predictable. Bots, NPCs, yeah, yeah, all the memes.

Children are more interesting.

You are born unpredictable. You might throw sand in your mouth. You might grab a rock and throw it at your dad’s head. You might flick your mom off. Your first words might be fuck you. Then they conditioned you, from the first time you stood up on your chair, ran by the pool. “Don’t do that.” An adult life is sanding you down into predictability.

You are gonna become a yin and yang man. A dice roller. A coin flipper. A Day coded man. Or girl. You’re allowed to.

Think of the slot machine.

Why do the old heads sit there for hours pissing in their bags rather than get up? They are INTERESTED in the slot machine because it is UNPREDICTABLE.

Flip a coin for dinner tonight and obey it. Take the long way home and stop at that one place. Answer the phone like a different man. Start calling your friend David “D.” Order a new drink. Mezcal straight. Stay out all night with your girl dancing until your shirt is drenched in booze sweat. Smile at the moon, wave to the sun, and welcome back to the world of the living.

THIS WAS ONLY THE FIRST WAY. THERE ARE FOUR MORE AND THEY GET ESCALATINGLY MORE NUTSOOO

FULL ESSAY ON SVBSTACK// DAYDAYDAY