ON BECOMING DEEPLY OBSESSED [2/5]

billion dollar mindset, self induced guilt trip, living in a fictional reality, delusional confidence. this post ain't for retarded minds.

last couple days felt like a fever dream. not i a bad way. in a very very good way.

few more schizos recruited. few more fancy looking bottles of cologne ordered. few more obscure soviet pharmaceuticals consumed. and a too many diamond gym phonk edits watched.

(a lot of mfs would benefit from tapping into unc’s crazy state of mind from time to time)

watching myself evolve into some type of demi god. it’s priceless.

but what’s more fascinating… watching everyone reading this grow into a better version of themselves… is my life’s dream coming true right infront of me.

remember when i said this is your end game. I meant it.

& I really hope your end game makes you feel this way too.

it’s not every day seeing another guy ascend because of yourself. and i deeply understand what it means to some of you. I was lost too. in 2 deep without a map giving me directions where to go.

all i had was a few good books i read on repeat and autism riddled vids from hamza. i genuinely am not surprised how i turned to the dark & unethical side of life.

i eat the darkness. and the darkness eats me back.

hence why everything i do nowdays feels like a bizarre fever dream.

for one… i enjoy hallucinating in the world of absurdism. it brings a of joy into my fragmented soul.

secondly… nothing ever makes perfectly logical sense.

but honestly… i find beauty in chaos.

i think a lot of people are guilty of this.

that’s why i stay away from meeting new girls. they’re too predictable.

after the first meet. they always end up in your bed anyway. where is the fun in that anymore?

thinking about the future together and post nut clarity comes after. this attitude is reserved for soft feminine boys only.

if you’re ever in that scenario. get a cold shower in asap. it will take your mind off emotions and you’ll actually be able to make a decision, whether you’re staying and fucking her for the rest of your life. or bouncing, and looking for the next best shiny object.

this game is never ending. trust.

however… back to the topic. deep game obsession.

take this advice. drill this into your head. apply it to your life and work.

I turned my filter off a long time ago. this is well suiting for my paranoid delusion to be powerful.

no hack is tangible for your mind if you ain’t ready mentally to play this endless game of life.

this one might hurt a little… but normal life hurts way more.

and this pain i’m about to inflict…

is what shapes you as a man.

can you take it head on?

1. self induced guilt trip

the lesson on working out of guilt is crystal clear and there is a reason it comes FIRST.

i hate to be dramatic, but I believe this is how high the stakes are if you’re trying to make it out. alive.

this lifestyle. it starts off by deeply feeling guilty about the life you exist in.

i am not going to call it living. “existing” is appropriate here.

without the feeling of satisfaction. life would be a mistake.

the pain involved in never reaching your true potential would easily compare with getting your jaws broken by usyk. even worse.

and yet… no one seems to… CARE?

a broken jaw heals.

but a man’s crushed soul stays this way forever.

you probably already know this… but this is a quintessential example for this.

as a fatherless guy in his 20’s, trying to take good care of his mother & living in constant fear of not being enough….

i feel guilty every step of the way. i don’t find enjoyment in slacking off, because i know that’s where my father derived pleasure from. i want to be the complete opposite of him. I NEED to be.

there is quite frankly no other option.

I thrive when I’m busy working on a business I am actually passionate about. i know he’d just laugh me off, tell me i am acting silly, look for a normal job like a proper man, and get back to drinking. pathetic

I fucking love taking nootropics that stimulate my mind’s capacity. I’m trynna 5x his brain cell supply, whilst he is probably somewhere laid up on the streets talking about hookers with his fellow degenerates.

I adore maximising my androgen receptors & getting into that dream toji physique. the sheer disgust i feel when i see a beer belly and a chubby face speaks volumes.

just avoid BPAs. you’ll be alright.

interesting, right?

i’d hate to be my father.

so, i’m doing everything in my power to become a polar opposite to it.

maximise everything he didn’t have. eliminate qualities he DID have.

treating women with respect. only when they’re not in whore mode.

investing in growth, not the destruction of self. (invest in yours too here)

(actually) earning good $ legally. sometimes its difficult to live with the thought in the back of my mind that he’d rather work abroad illegally to not send any $ during my childhood, than realistically just committing. disgusting.

maybe this stuff has links to other stuff. but i’ll probably figure it out later on in life.

so far… i found that you can understand a whole lot about the son by the story of his father.

and mostly… they are simply trying to be better at surviving than him.

that’s the moment you realise you have to do this by yourself.

this thing… being life.

even though, its living without a proper male role model. he still has influence on you.

how?

you don’t want to end up like him.

you’re unconsciously competing against him.

and you’d rather die if the worst case scenario happens. (i.e losing)

this is quite different to when girls say they have daddy issues.

we’re not trynna GET fucked and filled by a “father figure”

this trauma & guilt. is fuel. and is pushing us forward to be a greater human.

noticeably… better than he was.

and that’s just the beginning of the game.

he’s busy fucking up his whole life, always had been, while you’re tunnel visioned on the main mission. its amazing how polarities work.

simple as that. without guilt. you wouldn’t be here now.

this is my take on it. you gotta figure out what you feel guilty about.

then. with that covered. we can move onto the fun stuff.

doors closed.

2. billion dollar mindset

mastering the skill of taking loses.

you can 10x your life just by being alright with taking an l every now and then. and not attaching any emotions to it.

its obvious that any emotion that gets you off course. is bad for progress. so we’ll work to minimise it. you’ll be completely detached by the end of this little series. don’t blame me if stays within you tho.

maybe you’re starting to see how futile the whole game really is. the longer you’re in it, more difficult it is to keep up the act anymore. i’m basically losing the plot. and it’s going great.

but it’s what i do.

i linger in emotions.

its the other stuff i find really hard.

like trusting humans. its foreign to me.

just ask all the mfs i lost along the way.

speaking of losing… i find failing quite calming, you know?

i have taken quite a few loses in my life.

disturbing heartbreaks, forced to throw $ in the mud, friends & family coming and going. its a full on cycle.

i’ve experienced more pitfalls than mountain peaks. never ever lost hope.

picture this…

what actually shapes a man?

what does he have to go through TO reach his desired point?

exactly that… moments of absolute hopelessness & nihilism where you don’t even know if you’re gonna survive till next day. and if you do, you’d rather die seeing this shitty reality unravel so more.

failed attempts of testing something new that showed a glimpse of success. it gets depressing asf.

breaking off piece by piece. because you’re too disgusted with the current version. literally putting on new skin. that version of you is the one who went to war & back… and survived that trial.

success ain’t linear. it’s never as easy as going straight up. or straight down.

you’ll always go back to your baseline. if you aren’t CAREFUL.

basically a metaphorical zigzag into success.

the emotional brain is gonna rev you up and seek to get to the top.

until you have to be comfortable with taking losses.

this is the first test of character.

if you fail it. you’re cooked. trust me.

once you tweak your life this way.

where you’re basically immune to losing/failing.

fuck… you’re lowkey happy when something doesn’t exactly go your way.

it is an opportunity to take it as a learning curve.

you will never be the same after.

doomsday is a holiday.

its where schizos thrive the most.

we only realise how beautiful life is when we chance upon death.

die for the sake of success.

hope you took this deep gem in.

onto the next one.

3. living in the fictional reality

hallucinating 24/7

i’m too fucked up to go and see a therapist. and to be honest. i wouldn’t trust him anway, would i?

i mean it’s not as if my delusion is going to clock off for an hour a week.

i am willing to be wrong. but I don’t think i want to leave my happy place yet.

wired to perceive the invisible force that shape the worldview. and tweak it to my liking.

the promised land that i can go into at any point. and forget about all demons i’m battling right now. too transfixed on making that dreamland into reality.

i am basically living in a self made lucid dream that i can customise.

looking at life as if its directed by me.

funnily… it is.

i walk the paths of life as if nothing can get to me anymore. insufferable pains that a normal human would crumble upon turn into an annoying inconvenience that i need to spend my brain points on.

with my desire and intense drive. i definitely ain’t normal. but you already know this.

that’s it.

you know… i do believe this the best way to live your life. it’s unsettling to think people can live differently.

in my mind i already made it out. and i’m sippin bubbly with any mf who is hard enough and is willing to give me a piece of his soul to experiment on.

its exciting, isn’t it?

i pop a moda & it’s like i enter a different level of consciousness within me.

i smoke up a chunghwa & it’s like i’m stripping masks off people during a quick talk.

i get on my laptop after a early dawn sauna session & it’s like i’m moving like the fucking flash. unable to stop.

all it takes is being a loner who is compulsively obsessed with making his dreamy like life into a certain existence.

a cat that dreams of becoming a lion must lose its appetite for rats…

…in other words…

to achieve greatness, you must let go of the insecurity that you don’t deserve this.

I’m here to tell you that you do.

i didn’t think i was built for this… until i stepped in and tried it.

nothing is impossible. if you believe its possible hard enough.

tap into this delusion.

ride on it.

as long as you want.

if you’re willing to spend 8 hours per day working on someone else’s dream…

you MUST be able to afford spending the rest of that time making yours real.

suddenly life doesn’t feel so hard.

living inside YOUR fictional reality. where you are the only creator. you dictate what happens next, and how it happens.

hardly anyone does this.

that’s why they are at the bottom of the barrel.

more $ for us, i guess…

this brings me to the last one. onwards.

4. delusional confidence

“the deeper form of slavery is the hunger for being understood”

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky

it’s your human duty to enjoy life. not seek out to be understood.

people. funny creatures. they’ll go as far as saying “i love you”… but will never understand what’s truly going down inside your mind.

you’ll spit out a joke too dark & they won’t understand why you find it hilarious.

you’ll share your deepest beliefs on how we all are just puppets of the higher power and we get to watch them pull the strings & they won’t understand how deep your thinking goes.

pointless.

more than anything. i love the lonely life. where i don’t have to degrade myself to be on someone’s level.

i write, train, read, work, eat, sleep.

not in anyone’s business. nor would i want to be anyway.

consider this to be my superpower. a schizo special.

and i hope they are yours too.

i really really hope by now you get it, that you should never be a man who shapeshifts into something that others want you to be.

confidence doesn’t come from that.

and you own it to yourself to be the guy you desire to be.

no man can match your speed, if you are moving infinitely faster and more confident than him.

the work needs to get done anyway. either you do it. or somebody else who wants it more. only the most confident survive.

true confidence IS a human’s birthright.

most can’t fathom the joy of pursuing excellence.

however. excellence is a must. only under the pressure of being the greatest you reveal who you truly are.

this is what it really takes to win. and you gotta remind yourself every single day… that you’re just NOT normal.

you’ve become a different breed. an anomaly.

a radical madman without a smidgen of morals whose only objective is to achieve excellence in every endeavour of life.

understand?

if you try and fit into the mould of what humanity says a man should be, then you’re already losing the battle before it even started. just be that guy and opportunities will to come you. install the billion dollar mindset. live in your own fictional world. work hard out of guilt. yk how it goes.

part 2 done.

up to you what you do with this gem.

part 3 soon.

some key things about obsession that simply can’t be learned.

we will start off with the engine of constant dissatisfaction of yourself.

criticism as reason to get more work done.

stay schizo.

g2Ø

if you thought i went crazy deep on this piece…

you should see what’s inside the schizo hub.

full course vault on health/$//deep mental game/obsession

join here.

firing from all cylinders in there.

i’m just being real.

good luck.